21 Things You Should Make Your Kids Pay For
Teach financial responsibility by having children pay for these 21 items and experiences.
Teaching children about money management is one of the most valuable lessons parents can impart. While it’s the responsibility of parents to provide necessities like food, clothing, and shelter, there are numerous items and experiences that children should purchase themselves. This approach helps develop financial literacy, decision-making skills, and an understanding of the value of money. By strategically allowing—and sometimes requiring—kids to spend their own money, parents create opportunities for real-world learning that textbooks simply cannot provide.
Understanding the Philosophy Behind Kid-Paid Expenses
The concept of making children pay for certain items isn’t about being stingy or forcing hardship. Rather, it’s a deliberate educational strategy. When children spend their own money, they learn that resources are finite and that choices have consequences. A child who saves for months to buy a toy kit, only to lose interest within days, learns a powerful lesson about impulse purchases and value assessment. This experiential learning shapes their purchasing habits for life.
Parents should maintain a balance between supporting their children and allowing them to experience the natural consequences of financial decisions. The key is creating a framework where children understand which expenses fall under parental responsibility and which ones they must fund themselves.
Preschool Years: Starting Small with Little Luxuries
Even young children can begin learning about money, though expectations must be age-appropriate. Preschoolers (ages 3-5) can start paying for small items with supervision and guidance.
What Preschoolers Should Pay For:
- Treats and snacks — Candy, ice cream, or special beverages at outings
- Souvenirs — Small tokens from trips or attractions
- Toy additions — Extra toys beyond what parents provide
At this age, keep monetary amounts small—perhaps coins or dollar bills that children can physically handle and understand. The goal is exposure and familiarity, not significant financial burden. Many preschoolers will lose money on the way to the store, so don’t entrust them with large sums. The lessons learned from losing a dollar bill are valuable, but losing a week’s savings creates unnecessary frustration.
Elementary School: Building Money Awareness
By elementary school, children develop greater responsibility and begin understanding that money is earned and spent in exchange for goods and services. This is an ideal time to expand the list of items children should purchase themselves.
Elementary School Expenses:
- Toys and entertainment items — Non-essentials beyond birthday or holiday gifts
- Accessories — Decorative barrettes, earrings, or trendy items
- Books and media — Additional books, movies, or video games beyond library borrowing
- Entertainment outings — Movie tickets with friends (depending on family budget)
- Charitable donations — Small contributions to causes they care about
- Replacement items — New backpacks if the original is lost or damaged
- School non-essentials — Yearbooks, school dance tickets, or spirit wear
Around second or third grade, most children grasp the concept that they can obtain items by purchasing them directly. This realization often triggers a minor money-obsessed phase where children become intensely focused on purchases. Parents should not be alarmed by this behavior; it typically passes as children become accustomed to being consumers.
Teaching Value Through Experience:
Elementary years provide excellent opportunities to teach the value proposition of convenience. If a book is available at the library for free, children who want to own it must pay the purchase price. This teaches them to evaluate whether immediate ownership justifies the cost versus borrowing for free. Similarly, when children engage in entrepreneurial activities—such as making slime to sell to classmates—the profits should fund future supplies, reinforcing that business expenses come from revenue.
Middle School: Expanding Financial Responsibility
Middle school marks a transition where children develop greater independence and earning capacity. This age group can take on more substantial financial responsibilities.
Middle School Expenses:
- Entertainment outings with friends — Movie tickets and associated snacks
- Fashion and accessories — Trendy clothing items beyond necessities
- Hair accessories and styling — Hair dye, clips, or salon treatments
- Technology — Basic phone service (with parental support for safety features)
- Additional activities — Participation in clubs or special events beyond family outings
During middle school, decisions about what children pay for become more situational. For example, a parent might fund an expensive amusement park trip for the family, but if a middle schooler wants to attend with friends, they should contribute or pay entirely themselves. This teaches the distinction between family experiences (parent-funded) and peer activities (child-funded).
Repairing Mistakes:
If a child breaks a neighbor’s window playing baseball or causes damage through carelessness, parents can initially pay for repairs to maintain community relationships. However, the child should repay the parent gradually through allowance deductions or earnings. This teaches accountability while preventing immediate severe financial hardship.
High School: Preparing for Adult Independence
High school represents the final preparation phase before adulthood. Teenagers should handle increasingly significant financial responsibilities to prepare for independent living.
High School Expenses:
- Theme park and entertainment tickets — Paid by the teen when attending with friends
- Data plans and smartphone upgrades — Beyond basic call-and-text service
- Prom and homecoming expenses — Clothing, tickets, and dinner costs
- Driving expenses — Gas, car maintenance, or insurance premiums (depending on family philosophy)
- College preparation — Test preparation courses or application fees
- Non-essential school items — Yearbooks, class rings, or tickets to school events
Parents typically pay for basic phone service to ensure safety and communication, but when teens demand additional features like data plans for social media, they should cover that expense themselves. Many teens will pay without complaint once they understand that the choice is between paying for the service or going without.
Age-Based Summary Table
| Age Group | Parent Responsibility | Child Responsibility | Teaching Goal |
|---|---|---|---|
| Preschool (3-5) | Basic needs, necessities | Treats, small toys | Introduction to money |
| Elementary (6-11) | Clothing, school supplies, outings | Toys, snacks, entertainment | Value and consequences |
| Middle School (12-14) | Necessities, family activities | Entertainment, trendy items | Financial independence |
| High School (15-18) | Basic needs, college prep support | Entertainment, technology, social events | Adult financial responsibility |
What Parents Should Always Cover
While children should pay for many items, certain expenses remain parental responsibility across all age groups. Parents should fund:
- Nutritious food and groceries
- Basic clothing and shoes for school and weather
- Essential school supplies and required textbooks
- Physical education shoes and equipment required by school
- Mandatory field trip fees
- Basic healthcare and medications
- Shelter and utilities
- Basic phone service (for safety, not data plans)
The distinction between parental and child expenses centers on necessity versus luxury. Parents provide what children need to survive and thrive; children pay for what they want beyond those essentials.
Creating an Effective Allowance System
To implement a system where children pay for certain items, most families benefit from a regular allowance or earnings opportunity. An allowance provides the capital children need to make purchases and learn from their financial choices. Consider whether you’ll tie allowance to chores (teaching that money is earned through work) or provide it unconditionally (teaching that family members contribute without expectation of payment).
The amount should be age-appropriate and sufficient to cover the expenses you expect children to fund. A child who must buy all entertainment snacks needs more allowance than one who only purchases occasional treats.
Teaching Money Management Through Experience
Perhaps the greatest benefit of requiring children to pay for certain items is the real-world financial education it provides. Children learn:
- Delayed gratification — Saving for months to purchase something desired
- Opportunity cost — Understanding that spending money on one item means not having it for another
- Budgeting — Planning expenses within limited resources
- Decision-making — Evaluating whether purchases are worthwhile
- Responsibility — Understanding consequences of financial choices
- Work ethic — Recognizing that money requires effort to obtain
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if my child wants something they can’t afford?
A: This is an opportunity to discuss saving, earning extra money, or waiting for birthdays and holidays. You might offer to match savings or provide bonus earning opportunities, teaching valuable lessons about supplementing income.
Q: Should I give allowance for chores?
A: This is a family decision. Tying allowance to chores teaches that work produces income; unconditional allowance teaches family contribution. Many families use a hybrid approach with base allowance plus optional chores for extra money.
Q: How do I handle peer pressure situations?
A: Explain that different families make different choices. Help your child understand that having less money for some activities is normal and that true friends respect financial boundaries.
Q: What age should kids start paying for things?
A: Preschool age is appropriate for very small items. Elementary school is ideal for expanding the list. Middle and high school should involve significant financial responsibility for non-essentials.
Q: Should I bail out my child if they run out of money?
A: Occasional help is reasonable, but consistent bailouts undermine the learning experience. Let natural consequences teach the lesson that running out of money means missing out on purchases.
Conclusion: Building Future Financial Adults
Requiring children to pay for certain items is not punishment or deprivation—it’s investment in their future. By the time children reach adulthood, they will have years of experience making financial decisions, understanding consequences, and managing limited resources. These lessons cannot be taught in classrooms; they must be learned through experience.
Start with age-appropriate items and gradually expand children’s financial responsibilities as they mature. The goal is not to make childhood difficult but to prepare young adults for the financial independence they’ll need when they leave home. A teenager who has managed an allowance, saved for desired items, and understood the value of money will navigate adult financial life far more successfully than one who has never had these experiences.
References
- 21 Things You Should Make Your Kids Pay For — Wise Bread. https://www.wisebread.com/21-things-you-should-make-your-kids-pay-for
- Financial Literacy Month — Money Management International. https://www.moneymanagement.org/blog/financial-literacy-month
- What Older Children Need to Know About Money — Get Rich Slowly. https://www.getrichslowly.org/what-older-children-need-to-know-about-money/
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