Should You Skip a Mortgage Payment to Get a Bank’s Attention?
Is deliberately missing a mortgage payment a smart strategy to force your lender's help, or a risky move that could damage your finances?
In times of financial strain, homeowners facing mortgage difficulties often feel desperate for relief. One controversial tactic that surfaces in online forums and desperate discussions is intentionally skipping a mortgage payment to “get the bank’s attention.” The idea is that by falling behind, you’ll qualify for loan modification programs, forbearance, or other assistance that responsible payers can’t access. But is this strategy wise, or is it a recipe for disaster? This article dives deep into the origins of this advice, its potential benefits, severe downsides, real-world examples, and proven alternatives.
The Appeal of Skipping Payments: Why People Consider It
The notion gained traction during economic crises like the 2008 housing meltdown and persists in today’s volatile economy. Homeowners who pay on time watch as struggling neighbors receive government-backed aid, lower rates, or payment pauses. “Why not join them?” the thinking goes. By stopping payments, you save cash short-term—potentially thousands per month—while waiting for help.
- Short-term cash flow boost: A typical mortgage might be $2,000/month; skipping six months saves $12,000.
- Access to programs: Many relief options require delinquency, pushing you into “struggling homeowner” status.
- Moratoriums and delays: Foreclosure processes can take 6-18 months, buying time without immediate eviction.
Proponents argue it’s no different from strategic default, where underwater homeowners walk away rationally. Comments from financial blogs echo frustration: “Responsible buyers get punished while deadbeats get bailed out.”
The Harsh Realities: Why Skipping Payments Backfires
While tempting, this approach ignores massive risks. Lenders don’t roll out the red carpet for delinquents; they activate collections, fees, and credit destruction. Here’s why it’s rarely worth it:
| Risk | Impact | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Credit Score Damage | Drops 100+ points immediately; stays damaged 7 years | From 750 to 620, blocking future loans |
| Late Fees & Penalties | $50-100/month + interest accrual | $600+ in first 6 months |
| Foreclosure Risk | Process starts after 90-120 days; no guaranteed help | Loss of home and equity |
| Tax Implications | Forgiven debt counts as income | $50k forgiveness = $12k tax bill |
| Legal & Emotional Toll | Lawsuits, stress, family strain | Bankruptcy in extreme cases |
Delinquency doesn’t guarantee aid. Programs like HAMP (expired) or current FHA options prioritize communication, not default. Banks view skippers as high-risk, often denying modifications.
Real Stories: What Happens When You Skip
Financial blogs like Wise Bread share homeowner tales. One recovered from surgery and pondered stopping payments amid market turmoil. They calculated saving $10,000 in six months while awaiting renegotiation. But commenters erupted: “Responsible payers get screwed!” Yet few followed through successfully.
- Pre-bubble buyer: Pre-paid mortgage for years, felt equity wasted as values crashed. Stopped extra payments but kept current—avoided damage.
- Recent buyer: Bought responsibly at peak; watched delinquents get lower rates. Refused to skip, ate ramen to pay—preserved credit.
- Prepayment penalty victim: Discovered hidden fees for early payoff; shifted to minimum payments strategically.
A common thread: Skippers faced collections calls, credit hits, and no relief. One user: “I tapped credit for $6k to stay current—now debt-free.”
Does It Even Work? Evidence from Programs
Government data debunks the myth. The CFPB reports most modifications go to those who contact lenders early, not deep delinquents. Foreclosure moratoriums (e.g., COVID-era) protected all, not just skippers. In 2023-2025, FHA streamlined options for current payers via forbearance without credit dings if resolved timely.
Strategic defaulters faced 100-150 point FICO drops, per Experian studies. Men showed higher late mortgage rates (17.5% vs. women), amplifying gender credit gaps.
Smarter Alternatives: Get Help Without the Damage
Don’t sabotage your future. Proactive steps yield relief without delinquency:
- Contact your servicer immediately: Explain hardship (job loss, medical). Request forbearance—pauses payments 3-12 months, no late fees if caught up.
- Loan modification: Permanently lowers rate/principal. Available pre-delinquency via Making Home Affordable successors.
- Refinance: If credit solid, swap to lower rate. FHFA programs for underwater homes.
- Sell or short sale: Exit gracefully if unsustainable.
- Government resources: HUD counseling (free), 888-995-HOPE hotline.
Build buffers first: Emergency fund (6 months expenses), high-interest debt payoff before mortgage extras. Tax deductions favor keeping low-rate mortgages if itemizing.
Long-Term Financial Lessons from the Debate
This tactic highlights deeper issues: Housing as wealth trap, bailout inequities, personal responsibility. Paying off early saves interest but ties up liquidity—balance with retirement, emergencies. One blogger skipped full payoff on $270k balance, prioritizing investments.
Missing due dates isn’t catastrophic if paid within 30 days—no credit report hit. But intentional skips cross into danger.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Will skipping one payment trigger foreclosure?
A: No, typically 90+ days delinquency starts process. But fees accrue immediately, hurting credit after 30 days.
Q: Can I get modification without being late?
A: Yes, many servicers offer trial plans for current accounts. Call early.
Q: Is mortgage interest always tax-deductible?
A: Only if itemizing exceeds standard deduction. Post-2017 TCJA limits apply.
Q: What’s better: Pay off mortgage or invest?
A: Compare mortgage rate to investment returns. 3-4% mortgage? Invest in stocks (historical 7-10%).
Q: How long does foreclosure take?
A: 6-24 months varies by state; judicial states slower.
Q: Are there prepayment penalties today?
A: Rare post-Dodd-Frank, but check docs—usually first 3 years.
Skipping payments might grab attention, but it slams doors long-term. Communicate, plan, and protect your credit—true financial freedom comes from smart strategy, not shortcuts.
References
- 5 Times You Shouldn’t Rush to Pay Off Your Mortgage — Wise Bread. 2010-approx. https://www.wisebread.com/5-times-you-shouldnt-rush-to-pay-off-your-mortgage
- Should We All Just Stop Paying the Mortgage? — Wise Bread. 2009-approx. https://www.wisebread.com/should-we-all-just-stop-paying-the-mortgage
- Why I Didn’t Pay My Mortgage Off In Full — Wise Bread. 2010-approx. https://www.wisebread.com/why-i-didnt-pay-my-mortgage-off-in-full
- Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Freak Out If You Miss a Payment Due Date — Wise Bread. 2013-approx. https://www.wisebread.com/heres-why-you-shouldnt-freak-out-if-you-miss-a-payment-due-date
- Women flexing their financial muscles; women’s credit is in better shape than men’s — Experian. 2013-05-22. https://www.experian.com/blogs/news/2013/05/22/women-vs-men/
- 5 Things to Consider When You Can’t Pay Your Mortgage — Borrower Success (National Foundation for Credit Counseling affiliate). 2024-approx. https://www.borrowersuccess.org/5-things-to-consider-when-you-can-t
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